Kids, see if you can match his photos to our captions.
- "First thing after the wedding, I had such a big cheeseburger."
- "I told him straight to his face: 'Sallu, what woman would marry a guy in such tight shorts?'"
- "Well, mister, when you're quote-unquote the world's most beautiful woman, I think that's completely acceptable behavior."
- "I kid you not. He said, 'Marry me, Ash, or I swear I'll pull the trigger.' I said, 'Sallu you lush, that's my blow dryer.'"